Was it difficult for you to compose one or both stories? Why do you think that was the case?
It was extremely difficult for me to compose my first life story. I do not like to use my birth name, I do not like to refer to myself as a female, and I do not like to talk about myself in the past as a female. I experienced and faced a great deal of anxiety while writing that story. My past female identity can be very hard for me to talk about and I have not written a story of myself from the third person perspective as a female since I transitioned to male.
The second story was not difficult to write because it was a story of my success that did not happen in a straight line, but like a “zigzag”. In the first story, we saw a girl in love with the English language. In the second story, we saw a boy overcome his failure while coming to terms with his preference for history. There was a failure and then the success which drew the two stories together.
I have always been a lover of the English language but when I started university the praise I received from my high school teachers ended and the harsh criticisms of my professors echoed far too loud. Where I was once brilliant, I am now average. My passion for the language never died but perhaps it was never meant to be academic. My English teacher led me to university which some how led me to history.
What are the major similarities and differences between your story lines? In what ways do they represent alternative ways of looking at the same events/experiences? For example, is one story you tell yourself and is the other story you tell others? Does one have more continuity or one more 'zigzags' than the other? Why?
The major similarities in my stories are regarding to change. In both stories there is a shift in thinking. In the first story, I decided not to attend university and my teacher convinced me to do it. In the second story, I failed a class that was important to my identity but after transitioning to male I retook it and passed. There was an evolution of change in each story individually and in the stories together as one. As one, the story is of a young girl transitioning to a young man and an English lover becoming a History major.
The major differences are the perspectives. One was about a 16 year old girl named Cassie who was doubtful about her potential, her future, and her capacity to succeed. The other was about a 23 year old man named Oliver who believed in himself enough to retake the class he failed and prove that he was capable. The major difference is that despite the fact that both of these people in these stories are the same person, the mindset and perspective of each story is opposite. One is a perspective of self-doubt and the other self-belief.
In essence, my life stories of education are about transcendence, transition, and change. About the resilience one needs in order to persevere despite all obstacles (even and especially self-doubt.)